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 break ups is there a cure?

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harrysuke
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Location : Malaysia

PostSubject: break ups is there a cure?   Wed Sep 02, 2009 11:41 pm

i broke up with my gf a few weeks ago. but i still keep her
photos and i still think about her sometimes...

should i keep it this way or should i move on?
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gytzy
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PostSubject: Re: break ups is there a cure?   Thu Sep 03, 2009 12:03 am

OHHH god... thats why i dont have boyfriends!

any how when you enter a relationship you know that what goes up
must come down. what has a begginging must have a end.

you cant be together for ever thats the first thing you should be aware
before you get involved in arelationship. because if you dont want to make sense
of this youll be hurt tremendosly...

sooo allaways enjoy the relationship and if it ends well o wel it did sooner that
later but if you decide to keep her things make it in a way were you remember
the sweet times and not troment your self trying to get back with her.

you wont stop loving even if you brake up.
but you can force a shoe in the wrong foot...

heres some extra advice...




We all know how bitter and confusing romantic break ups can be. Sometimes
break ups are welcome. But when they are not, it can most definitely feel like
the end of the world. People will always tell you that you’ll eventually “get over it.”
Most people getting out of relationships usually do.

1. Go Away-


For couples who live together, this is very important. Sharing a common living space
can make a clean break seem virtually impossible. There are so many things to consider
once two people have decided to divide their lives again. If you find yourself breaking up
with your special someone, try going away for a while. It does not have to be a long and
engaging vacation. One or two nights in a nearby hotel should do the trick. Do NOT stay
with friends or family. No matter how supportive they are, they will more than likely be
biased one way or the other because they love you. It’s best to find some neutral space
to do whatever you need in order to deal with the shock of the separation. You’ll need
someplace where you will not be surrounded by souvenirs of your relationship. In a quiet
and clean hotel room, you can have total privacy to cry, shout, sleep, think, read, or do
whatever you need to, to alleviate some of the shock and pain.


2. Make a Pros/Cons List
Get out a sheet of paper and make four columns. Label the columns as follows : Pros,
Cons, Pros, Cons. Let the first set of Pros and Cons represent the advantages and
disadvantages of being together with your former mate. Do the same for the next two columns.
Only these columns will represent being apart. It may sound silly. And if you’re feeling
exceptionally raw about breaking up, you may find that one or more columns are filled to
capacity, while others only have one item. That is just fine. Write down your feelings anyway.
Keep the list and continue to go back to it. You may find that over time, some items may move
from one side of the list to the other. This is because people often see their mistakes in retrospect.
And some things that we thought were good for us, were actually detrimental to the relationship.


3. Treat Yourself-

Some people rely on pints of Haagen Daaz. Some people grab a few beers with the buddies.
And some indulge in a little retail therapy. While these may seem like viable options for soothing
the wounds of a nasty split, they are not always the wisest. Pigging out on ice cream feels good
temporarily. But eating out of frustration is never a good thing. “Break Up Shopping” may also
result in some negative repercussions. The kind of treat that you should give yourself will feel
good from the inside out. Try to delight yourself with new experiences. Take a class or attend a
seminar. Visit a tourist attraction in your own city that you may never have seen before. The point
here is to do something that is healthy and engaging for your mind. Sometimes people put so much
energy into their relationships that they rarely make time for themselves. The fragile time after a
break up is the perfect opportunity to do just that.


[b]4. Change Your Routine- [b]

Many couples establish certain routines without even thinking about it. When suddenly, the person
that you loved no longer wants to be with you, not only is your ego damaged, but you also feel a
loss of control. One way to re-establish control over your life is to change your routine. If you
normally work from 8 to 4pm, try changing your schedule so that you include other activities in
your workweek. Changing things up a bit will make you feel like you’re taking charge of an
adverse situation. [b]

5. Therapy-

When all else fails, there is always the good old therapist. No longer do you have to have stacks
of cash in order to get some quality objectivity. The stigma associated with mental health has
subsided over the years. Many corporations offer programs (called EAPs) that have been created
for the sole purpose of helping their employees deal with difficult life issues. Typically, the employee
is offered 3 free sessions with a counselor or therapist listed in a directory
(further sessions require payment).
Sometimes it simply helps to be completely candid with a stranger who is unbiased to your situation.
You can see things that you might not have seen. And a therapist can also help you to
regain a sense of balance when things have gone awry.

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Annabelle
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PostSubject: Re: break ups is there a cure?   Sun Sep 13, 2009 10:54 pm

hmm...well, i'll be honest, it'll be tough to forget her...cause im sure you both were quite close. but eventually, time heals everything. so sit back and just let things flow their way =). best of luck!
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